You’ve found someone on the site who has a reciprocal interest in you, what now? How can you give yourself peace of mind that this person is really who they say they are? Here’s our advice for being savvy on getting to know someone from the site whilst ensuring your safety in the meantime.
Help is at Hand
Any contact on the site can be recalled at your request, so if there is anything that they’ve said which has unnerved you at all, we can investigate and assist you. This is why we always recommend that you stay on the site to really get to know someone and feel satisfied that they’re genuine before going elsewhere. Outside of the site, we are extremely limited with what we can do to help, we’d like to be able to but we just don’t have the ability to anything about it outside of our own jurisdiction. So please, please, please, heed this advice.
Don’t Be Shy
Don’t be shy to ask them plenty of questions about themselves, all you have to go off them so far is a cyber-based profile, you want to put a human being to this page of words and/or images. There may be some questions that they’re not comfortable answering but there is plenty that you could ask to get a picture in your mind of the person that they may be which won’t intrude on privacy, much like a job interview (in a much less formal setting of course). You need to know if they’re the right candidate, compatible with what you want and need, and most importantly – trustworthy. Employers nowadays ask more and more seemingly obscure questions such as ‘If you were a fruit, what would you be and why?’ or ‘How would you fit an elephant into a fridge?’.
The old bog standard ‘What would you say your top 3 strengths’ style questions don’t quite cut it anymore, at least not alone as they’re too predictable. Anyone could easily search for what employees want to hear as an answer to this question, cookie cutter questions will get a cookie cutter answer with no personality or insight into what the person is really like.
The example questions above are all hypothetical, we don’t want you to have them running for the hills because you’ve asked them would they relate more to a banana or a starfruit, also because they think that you might actually be Alan Sugar, not a sexy thought. Our point is that asking more questions will paint a more vivid canvas of who is on the other end of your conversations. And there’s nothing wrong with saying “Really hope you don’t mind but I like to ask plenty of questions when I’m getting to know someone online, some may seem a bit random but feel free to ask them back from me!”
What’s the Issue?
If they’ve got an issue about creating this sort of dialogue, ask yourself why. Surely with them being in the same boat and not knowing an inkling about this person that they’re electronically speaking to, being you, they’d want to take the time to put their own mind at ease that you’re who you say you are also?
Writing this, I can already hear the cry of “But it’s a casual sex site, many people don’t want to get to know the people that they’re going to be having no strings sex with!!?” Sure thing, but whilst we have a great community environment on the site, it is still only a website and an unnatural setting where body language cannot be read and people cannot gage others as they normally would in person when figuring them out. You owe it to your potential hook-ups to give them some of your time to allow them to get to know you in their own way so that they can put their mind at ease about doing something so personal as sex with you. It doesn’t really get anymore personal does it? To be in such close contact with someone, you want to know that you can trust them.
Make a Vid Bid
So you’ve talked with them for some time on the site, enough to feel confident to take things out and elsewhere. It could be a good idea to attempt some discussion over video call on the likes of Skype. The step up from text-only conversation will allow you to match them up to their pictures and assure you that, that is in fact them on the images. You will also be able to do some reading of body language, tone of voice, emotions within their speech, mannerisms etc. whilst carrying on the discussion as you did on-site. Perhaps cover some topics that you’ve covered when you were on the site. Does everything correlate to everything they’d previously told you? If they’re not willing to video call then be dubious, you’re going to be having sex, they won’t video call with you at any point? Why on Earth not?
This goes without saying, but never ever give out money, sensitive material such as address, bank details or information that could be used to figure out your passwords or security answers that you may have used to secure your accounts of any nature, whether online or otherwise. No matter how well you think you may know someone that you’ve met online or how trustworthy they seem, they should never need any of this information from you. If a member from the site has asked you for any of this or you feel that they’re trying to glean it, please contact the Helpdesk with as much information as possible. A combination of username, details of your suspicions, what they’ve said or asked off you along with time and date of message will massively help the staff make their investigation much easier along with a screenshot if appropriate.
Go With Your Gut
Throughout, this article has an undertone of using your senses to pick things up – using your gut instinct so to speak and for good reason. This is the most effective tool at your disposal but you need to allow yourself the chance to use it. By taking the right precautions prior to meeting someone each and every time, you can ensure your safety and enjoy the full experience that the site has to offer with a sense of peace of mind. We’re always here to help if you need us, and we want to help however sometimes we may need your assistance somewhat. Together we can make this an even more enjoyable, sexy and safe place to be.
Thanks for reading!